Stress is an enemy of the brain. this past week, millions were subjected to Hurricane Sandy. As we begin to move past it, some of us may look back and wonder in amazement at ourselves, amazed that we did or thought some impractical and frankly, stupid things, when we normally would not have. Why? Stress. It causes the brain to misfire and we can’t think properly. That is why we need tools and aids to help us. For me, lists were one answer. It was my scorecard. Did I do the things I needed? Did I achieve what I set out to do? For all of us in normal circumstances, we would not need lists, but under the severe stress caregivers undergo and the stress of those in Hurricane Sandy, it is remarkable what and how simple things can make a difference.
The caregiver has several roles in relationship with the patient, but none so difficult as being the butt of all insults, negativity and fear of the patient. Someone you thought you knew could suddenly turn into a highly charged emotional person. It is true what they say about a wounded animal that is more to be feared. As the caregiver, we have to try to understand and accept the patient’s expression of their greatest fear – death. No one really knows what is beyond. you can only respond in kind so far – your loved one needs you to be their rock of gibraltar, even as you feel you are sinking into the sea like venice. You learn a lot about yourself in these times too!
The Caregiver - The Second Cancer Patient 